Stage Mom

My 6-year-old son, Karsten, was just cast as Tom Cratchet in “A Christmas Carol”. I will join him on stage as the Ghost of Christmas Past. Now the hard work begins: NOT becoming a stage mom.

I thought I had it under control when we went to auditions. While Karsten needed help with lines (he is just starting to read), I did not want to “direct” him. I fed him lines with appropriate inflection and dialect, but did not coach facial expression or movement. He did beautifully! Ever the character actor at home, he was just as comfortable in front of an audience of strangers.

Then came callbacks. I helped him with his two small lines, then sat in the audience while he followed the other actors’ lead. He was great! Comfortable and confident, he came in on cue.

I had almost made it through the audition process without embarrassing myself. Then as the director looked around to choose another audition group, I blew it. I raised Karsten’s hand for him – a classic stage mom move.

Of course, he did not get called on. Nor did the director frown in our direction. But I had violated my pledge to not “manage” my son. It may seem like a small thing, but I read in my heart the desire to put my child ahead of the others.

We all want our children to have new opportunities and experiences, but sometimes our best intentions are tainted with our own ambition and competitiveness. It becomes all about us, rather than them.

Tomorrow is the first night of rehearsal. A new opportunity for me to launch my son and let him test his wings. I will be there to catch him should he fall. But I commit myself to not interfere when he soars.